What if Carlton and Damon had have been writers on other shows?

I was watching a special about Dallas (the television series) and they were discussing the death of Bobby Ewing. What happened is that they killed him off at the end of the season. When the next season aired the ratings dropped and by the end of that season they decided that killing Bobby was a mistake, so they decided to bring him back to the show. How did they achieve this, well they had Bobby's death and all the episodes of the next season be a dream that his wife Pamela had.

Now if Carlton and Damon had been on board the Dallas writing team, no probs, Bobby could have returned and no explanation needed, yes that's Bobby back but he is still dead. He talks to people, everyone can see him, the only difference between the Bobby before the crash and after his return is that the first Bobby was alive and the later Bobby is dead, But dead Bobby probably could go shopping, dining, producing many children and battle JR too. How similar is death to life, except that I guess death is forever, whereas life isn't. So being dead seems way better!

Now what if those two writers were working on Friends, man they would have had some really interesting umknown interconnectedness between all those characters, chances are they all would have ended up being related and I guess that it would really have to be platonic friends then as having relations with your kin is a bit too icky.

Now what if they were the writers on the Back to the Future trilogies. With their paradox aversion, poor Marty would be stymmied at all turns by people telling him that he can not change the future. His photograph of his family would never alter and when Marty got back everything would be the same as the start of the fim. Wow, that would have been a great movie, tbhough not sure that it would have stretched to a trilogy though, great movie and yes Grandma I really do believe that you could pass for 29!!!


What could Carlton and Damon done for your favourites shows/films?

Stitch

Good premise Stitch.

Sesame street.

Bert (a muppet of science) constantly bumps heads with Ernie (a muppet of faith) as both try to lead the group of castaway PBS characters.

Big Bird holds the Kermit the frog hostage in an underground station and beats the hell out of him because he thinks Kermit is an Other muppet.

The "You shouldn't smoke" monster rips Elmo's head off because he won't admit he is made of foam rubber.

The Count is obsessed with the numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10

Okay, it's a series of movies based on a TV show. Does that count?

Captain Kirk, after several ship-crippling attacks by Khan Noonien Singh, discovers the truth that Khan is really only concerned about the safety of the Genesis device, too. Although Spock, the man of science, disagrees with his decision and leaves with 5 other crew members (including the newborn son of his half-sister) in an escape pod, Kirk teams up with Khan, who sets his ship in a "sling-shot" maneuver around the sun. Khan and the device disappear into some unknown timeline, leaving the Enterprise adrift with no way of getting back to a starbase, but safe from the effects of the Genesis device and the crooked Starfleet Admiral who's been sending mercenaries to retrieve it and capture Khan.

However, a lot of bad things happen on the Enterprise after Spock leaves...

Sesame St. Mr. Snuffleupagus is just another appearance of the black smoke monster and the answer to that age old question "Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame St?" is "No, you will never find it". Love the idea of the Count being obseessed with those numbers ... ah wait he already is. lol


Star Trek I think would be greatly changed by Carlton and Damon. Come on, they are not going to beam up the entire body, that is ridiculous, the catch phrase would surely become "Beam my consciousness up, Scotty!".

The Borg all would be members of the DI and I am sure a lot of bad things did hapeen after the departure of Spock!!!

Gilligan's Island.
As the Professor (man of science) and the Skipper (man of faith) battle for the hearts and minds of the other castaways, Gilligan (man of stupidity) builds a sat-phone out of coconut shells, some wire and a few pennies and calls a nearby freighter to rescue them.

Unbeknownst to the survivors of the crash of the S.S. Minnow, the freighter belongs to the evil billionaire Thurston Howell the third who plans to use the island for his own nefarious purposes...

Perhaps the Gilligan's Island premise hits a little too close to home...sorry.

Contestants from across the Island perform 60's songs before 3 judges, the perpetually-possitive Hugo Reyes, the vaguely-vapid and meaningless Kate Austin, and the always-ascerbic Ben Linus. They sing their song, usually something by Patsy Kline, Mama Cass, or Three Dog Night, and Ben Linus insults them. Hurley generally replies "Dude, not cool" to Ben, and Kate says something nice about them, but it's usually irrellivent to the performance.

OK, now here's the catch... If all 3 judges vote against the contestant, they're "purged". The judges put on their gas masks, and, well, you understand. If however, the 3 judges do not agree, it's up to the Island. Smokey oozes out on stage, and either the contestant passes to the next round, or they're ripped off the stage and killed.

Even if all 3 judges pass a contestant, however, there's still a chance they don't make it to the next round. Every once in a while, Locke comes out and states "the Island demands a sacrifice". At that time, anairplane is dropped on the contestant, and we know the rest.

The one performer who manages to survive all of the rounds is crowned Island Idol.

Also, there are no repeats. When the producers need to fill time, or create suspence before a big elimination, they simply move the island back in time, or invite dead performers to come back for encore appearances.

Star Wars: Open with a dead Luke and lea huddled together in a cave on Tatoine. Chewy has a crazy drug addiction and falls for an Ewok that is much too hot for him. The Emporer is just some spirt type that never leves the Deathstar and speeks to people through Vadar. Vadar tries to ignore his chosing path of leading the rebel alliance and joins the cool kids on the dark side. Could go on all day...

Carlton and Damon take on Cheers

Sam Malone, a former baseball player with daddy issues, runs a bar named Cheers (which does terrible business, considering it's located on a sparsely inhabited South Pacific island). He does get a few regulars, though, including Norm Peterson, an overweight, sarcastic pessimist who refers to everyone as "Dude," Cliff Clavin, an under-appreciated mailman who claims to know an awful lot about bugs and dynamite, Frasier Crane, a hard-headed psychiatrist who just recently regained the use of his legs, and who often gets into heated debates with Sam. Working at the bar with Sam are Diane Chambers, an aspiring author who always writes under a different name and is in some legal issues back home, Carla Tortelli, mother of a child just born on the island and half-sister of Sam (unbeknownst to either of them), and Woodrow "Woody" Boyd, Sam's backwoods assistant barkeep who's trying to kick his heroin addiction.

After establishing their bar and making themselves at home, they discover the "other" bar, Gary's Olde Towne Tavern, located a few miles inland. Gary, the rival bar owner, first comes into Cheers assuming a pseudonym, claiming to have wrecked his hot-air balloon. Sam and his buddies soon reveal Gary for who he really is, and the war begins...

SomeArtz, you have a singular wit.

How about this? The writers of Seinfeld take on Lost. Some of the more memorable episodes feature these lines and moments.

Jack: Hey Locke, do you ever notice that Julliette looks really good in certain island light, but she looks awful in other island light? She was out on the beach the one day and she looked great, but then she walked into that 'scattered light' that Daniel was talking about, and it was like fright night!

Locke: Yep Jack. She is what we call a 'two-face' here on the island.
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Sawyer, after a nice swim in the brisk ocean water, decides to change into some dry clothes. He finds a peaceful place deep in the jungle to change and starts stripping down. Kate ends up walking by just as he is in his birthday suit, with his 'manhood' seriously effected by the cold ocean water. She takes one disgruntled look at 'it', chuckles a bit, and runs off towards the beach. Sawyer runs after her screaming, "ITS SHRINKAGE! ITS SHRINKAGE!"
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Jack is vigorously performing Ben's spinal surgery, when Tom and Juliette begin arguing over who gets the last Junior Mint. During thier tussle, the mint flies up into the air and lands in Ben's open body just before Jack sews him up. Ben dies from complications from this incident.
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In the series finale Locke finally gets in contact with Jacob. Locke tells Jacob he wants to know everything about the island. The smoke monster. The four-toed statue. The black rock. He wants to know all the answers. Jacob agrees and begins to explain: "It began centuries and centuries ago. The beginning was a difficult time for the island and its inhabitants.... and yada yada yada .... now were doing great!"

I could go on for days people. Hope you enjoyed.

Someone should do Carlton and Damon do big brother, that would be good.

All right, I know it's terrible, but...

Dharma and Greg

Greg is an uptight lawyer who has to drop his lawyerly ways and move to a mysterious tropical island with his wife. Hilarity ensues when he has to adjust to her new job pushing a button for eight hour shifts, her huge tubs of room temperature ranch dressing, and the attacks by wild boars in the middle of the night.

Eh, it wouldn't be that great, I guess. Not until "The Purge" episode, anyway.

Irocz28 wrote:Jack is vigorously performing Ben's spinal surgery, when Tom and Juliette begin arguing over who gets the last Junior Mint. During thier tussle, the mint flies up into the air and lands in Ben's open body just before Jack sews him up. Ben dies from complications from this incident.
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In the series finale Locke finally gets in contact with Jacob. Locke tells Jacob he wants to know everything about the island. The smoke monster. The four-toed statue. The black rock. He wants to know all the answers. Jacob agrees and begins to explain: "It began centuries and centuries ago. The beginning was a difficult time for the island and its inhabitants.... and yada yada yada .... now were doing great!"

Haha If there's one show on earth that can't get away with yada yada-ing that's probably Lost !

Battlestar Galactica.

The remaining survivors of the 12 colonies finally make it to Earth and land on the lost island.

The population instantly goes from about 42 to 38,428...Locke is NOT happy.

Only 23,416 of the Colonials are on Jacob' list.

the Cylon Six/Gina/Natale sleeps with Sawyer

Starbuck sleeps with everybody else.

Adama and Roslin airlock Horace Goodspeed and move into his cabin.

Sawyer cons the Colonials out of two Vipers, a Raptor and three ore processing ships

Tigh's eye grows back and he kicks the frak out of Ben just for fun

The entire ragtag fleet keeps making hyperspace jumps to and from the island giving the frozen donky wheel a massive inferiority complex.

Lost meets The Office (the American incarnation, anywho)


Michael Scott is a bumbling but deviously manipulative boss. Underneath his offensive sexual innuendo and flagrant stupidity lies a mind that's always thinking a few steps ahead. He always gets what he wants. And he wants to sell paper.


Dwight Schrute is a self-righteous and egotistical paper salesman who considers himself a hero, while everyone around him knows he's only fooling himself. The only supporter around the office he has is...



Angela Martin. She's just a bitch.


Jim Halpert is a good worker. He's just under-appreciated because of his "slacker" demeanor - and the fact that he's always too distracted by...


Pam Beesly, the office receptionist.

I could go on, but I really should do something productive today...

SAOY

Very funny!!!

What if Neighbours was written by Damon and Carlton.

I do not know if the Americans have any idea about what Neighbours is, so to fill you in, Neighbours is a soap opera that is filmed in Melbourne Australia and revolves around the lives of the residents of Ramsay St in the suburb of Erinsborough.

It is a really popular show in the UK, not so much in Australia where it is made. A recent episode synopsis:

Toadie has an astonishing plan for the rest of his life. Ty gets to the root of the reason Rachel refuses to sing. Taylah talks to Karl about her unresolved issues with Chris but Bridget has no idea that she´s playing with fire. Declan´s determined to go to the formal, one way or another.

Actually that episode synopsis makes the show sound way more exciting than it ever really is, Toadie wants to be a fashion designer, but somehow his name may be a barrier ... here is the latest toadie design. Nah don't think so!! Rachel does not sing because she is tone deaf and has as much singing ability as your average swine! Taylah's unresolved issues deals with his ordering a double cheeseburger from Chris at McDonalds but receiving a single cheeseburger instead and Bridget should realise that dropping a lit cigarette into her waste paper bin will occasionally start a fire. Declan, even if it means asking the ugliest girl in his school will go to his formal/prom (for the Americans), despite the fact that everyone wants his autograph! Declan the most amazingly good looking unpopular guy on the planet!

Anyway Charles Widmore, well the person who plays him comes from the cast of Neighbours. He played the role of Jim Robinson and he was the father of all fathers untill he tragically died.




So what would be the scenario:

Well Ramsay St would actually be a DI station. Whereby the inhabitants would have no idea that they are actually being observed and experimented on. When people move out of Erinsborough, it is not really Queensland that they go to. No. They all actually end up in Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute where they are haunted by the cursed words "Everybody needs good neighbours" until they all commit suicide.

In Neighbours a very popular character was Daphne. However Daphne had bad luck. After a long time she married her one true love Desmond. However happiness was shortlived, her father died. So sad! Then she attended her father's funeral but on the way home from the funeral she was killed in a tragic car accident. Desmond was never the same again.

IF Carlton and Damon was to write this then Desmond would have found himself on an island entering magical numbers into a really old looking computer every 108 seconds and his one true true constant in hell wished that she had have died.

Desmond after mourning his wife's death would seek out Sayid to hunt down and kill those drunken drivers that took away his constant.

Stitch