Non-Sequitur War!

I did, but I will be disappointed, which is why I've hired a clown for my next catered event.

I would hire a Clown for our anniversary, but I can't decide how I feel about off-shore drilling.

Don't get me started on off-shore drilling, the rubik's cube doesn't feel well either.

HSM, I know you are a cubist, so why don't you eat a more well-rounded breakfast?

The breakfast of champions once before ignited an nation of newts

blonde wrote:HSM, I know you are a cubist, so why don't you eat a more well-rounded breakfast?

What are you saying about my diet. I'll have you know I have a very bouncy bed.

If you want to jump on the bed then I apologize for overcooking your steak.

The steak was just fine it was the camera size that got me.

My camera has a zoom lens which effects the tides on Earth

The tides go through a full cycle every 12 hours, which leads me to believe I left my pants in Mexico.

There are many lost pants in Mexico, I once saw an elephant giving birth.

Elephants have to drop pretty far when they're born, so I'm definitely going to have some more coffee.

I am having my first cup of coffee this morning, and 200 million people live in China on less than a $1 a day.

Really? Thats a worrying fact, which is why I'm taking the day off yesterday.

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks like the Olympics are going well

Well ? I think that it is a very deep hole. Now we have gotten ourselves into it, so how do we get out ?
Speaking of wells....
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

there is always an old saying for everything which is why the Big Mac has pickles

Pickles can refer to anything that is pickled - not just cucumbers, which brings me to believe there may be intelligent life many miles below the surface of Mars.

Surley not if it was below the surface of Mars then why are my jeans undone.

Levis are OK, but I prefer to grocery shop on Sundays.

Sundays and Mondays are ok for some, but chocolate sauce with sprinkles makes for great hair

Great hair is a myth, Laundry on Wednesdays is OK though.

The earliest claimed usage of okay is a 1790 court record which I played all night long on my record player.

Before records, they appeared as cotton towels to the children.

Towels are good for drying some things, but rubber bands, in large quantities, can lead to indigestion.